How do we forgive people who have since past over into the Spirit World?

Like a bolt of lightning, a thought flashed in my mind while standing on Killiney Beach during one of the Full Moon Healing Circles. I had asked the crowd to imagine their mother’s hand resting on their shoulder and the ancestral lineage of their mothers, standing with their hands on each of their shoulders who are always nurturing, always loving and always guiding them…. But it was when I brought them further on their guided meditation journey when I asked them to picture in their minds eye their father’s hand on their right shoulder and their masculine ancestorial lineage standing behind them, their father’s, father, his father and so forth going back eight generations of wisdom, protection and support that a thought came to me….a thought that rose up many hidden feelings within me. That were buried for a long time….

What if, some people in this crowd didn’t get on with their father or their mother or the generation that came before them. Their grandfather or their grandmother. Just like me with my dad, who I didn’t speak to for years, what if someone in that crowd had a negative karmic bond experience with their loved one here in the middle world (earth).

If they aren’t at a level were there is forgiveness and peace with a soul that has since past after experiencing some form of abuse from that relative/person. How can I encourage them to imagine the love, support, nurture or guidance when they never got it! A familiar feeling of dread came over me, the feeling I get when I start doubting my abilities, but I kept going with the meditation. I heard a faint whisper from my spirit guides encouraging me to keep going, they’ll explain all very soon.

So, I pushed those thoughts from my mind and carried on. Together Breathe with Niall and I brought the people on a beautiful evening of healing, connection and raising their vibrations. With Grandmother Moon making a glorious appearance over Killiney bay. But as we packed up for the evening, I still had those niggling thoughts dancing on the edge of my mind.

The next day I woke up with my normal high energy hangover, I swear it’s a thing! Its like I’ve been out on a 2-day bender (not that I have many of those, these days), but I feel absolutely floored after every Full Moon Healing Circle the next day!

As usual, I sat at my Pooja (my sacred space) to process the night be fore’s energy and to thank my Spirit guides, the elders who came to help us on the beach and the Spirits of the Elements. And then I sat, I sat and waited for those feelings to come….to envelope around me. To feel the old familiar feelings of hurt, shame, fear and heart ache I experienced when my dad was alive. And I asked out loud to my spirit guides what happens when you have bad karma with a loved one and they have since passed over? How do you forgive? How do you let go of the hurt? How do you move on?

A familiar voice spoke from within me…. When we walk the middle world, we have an ego. According to ‘psychology today’, most terms that include “ego” involve processes or reactions in which I, me, or mine figure prominently. Most of us know how to recognise when the ego takes over and can talk ourselves out of making bad choices but some of us don’t and that’s when it influences us to make bad decisions in life, treat others unfairly or in worse cases abuse others for their own narcissistic needs.

But, when we pass into the spirit world, we leave our ego behind and we are nothing but oneness, we are our true divine self. We are back in our spiritual bodies radiating love, peace and abundance.

Its hard for people who are still in the middle world to understand this, that those that did us wrong in their lifetime, now want nothing but forgiveness, peace and love. They want the best for you, to learn all the lessons you have come to the middle world to learn and to walk beside you guiding, nurturing and supporting you now.

What mostly happens is those that are left in the middle world hold on to the pain, the suffering, the trauma and never truly make peace with themselves or the person who did them wrong, but for you to heal, the secret is, is to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you’ve given the message that what someone did was OK. It just means that you’ve let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself.

As Louis. B. Smedes put it, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”. Forgiveness is the key to your healing….

So if you feel ready, perhaps light a candle and call in the spirit of the person who did you wrong, sit with them for a while. Feel free to say why they hurt you, lean into the emotions that come up and then release the anger, the hurt and the suffering…this may come in forms of tears, but crying is a form of releasing and if/when you feel ready to do so, tell them you forgive them and wish them well. This may need to be done a couple of times before you feel the release. If the emotions coming up here are too strong for you, why not write them a letter instead and say everything you need to say in the letter. When you are finished writing it, burn it, to release the emotions that surround you.

Do try to break the karmic cord once and for all, between you both because once that cord is broken. 

 It’ll set you free!

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